dieting Blues

Dieting Blues

I have been trying to loose weight (rather unsuccessfully ) after the birth (37 years ago) of my second child. (He often says  I blame everything on him)!

My friend and classmate in medical college is an expert on weight loss. She set up a very successful clinic. She is in great demand and She motivates her dieters, and allows them  no excuses at all. The regimen does not require any exercise, so it is very popular. The diet is totally carbohydrate free with just protein and fat. There are raw green leafy vegetables too. After some time  you feel like a mutant herbivore. You also begin to chew the leaves you are allowed to eat in a desultory fashion. It keeps your mind off food. The diet works, and,  even though your dreams are full of biriyani, parottas and dal makhani, the weight just melts off.

Keeping the kilos  off is quite another matter. After a year or two, when chewing cud is not a viable option, and pongal vadai irresistible, it just creeps back on again. Also there is the unsightly sagging in the areas of weight loss, usually the arms, the face , the sundry other regions covered with skin. The areas from which the fat has disappeared leaves long streaks, ugly discoloured pink or white visible stretch marks.

Another classmate looked very slim and trim. At the alumni reunion she was a source of great envy. Her stomach was flat her arms toned.

“What exactly is your secret?” I asked. The rest of the women (many of whom had paunches that led from the front) listened with interest.

“I eat only every alternate day,” she replied. There was a shocked silence.

On the other days, “I only drink water. Since I work, I do not really notice the lack of food.”

She added , “ I also use the cross trainer for an hour on the days I don’t fast.”

 I decided to try it. To motivate myself further, I went to work without carrying any breakfast or lunch with me. I took black coffee and lime water (not lime juice). By 11:30 AM I started to see double. The patient’s face split into two halves sideways and then joined again. I once saw a movie about a schizophrenic lady. The credits had her face split into two halves which sporadically joined together. My stomach let out loud audible rumbles.   I send my staff out to buy curd rice.

That was the  end of the fasting!

After my Achilles tendon tear, this year, the orthopedic surgeon warned me.

“You are going to be in bed for three months. Even with a normal diet, you will gain weight. Your leg won’t be able to take it. You have a high chance of re-rupture.”

Visions of this purgatory (cast and bed rest) haunted  me.

I cut my food intake in half.

I lost 7 kilos in three months. The physicians were not happy.

“No one can diet like this. We need to do a whole body PET scan to rule out occult malignancy.”

My protests fell on deaf ears.

The good news? The scan was normal!